Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Embarassing Sex stories!


This thread was originated on another website I use but Dang it was so funny I had to share it here... *giggles*  I'd like to add a special thank you to the friends that contributed their stories to this blog :-) I would also like to invite you to share your own stories in the comments If you feel Daring.

DH and I were getting down and dirty in my aunties living room and her next door neighbor walked in and saw every thing lmao!!! He now knocks before entering my aunts house if either of our cars are there lmao!!!

An ex and I were in the shared apartment alone in the living room did me face down on the floor him behind me... And a roommate who was supposed to be at work walked in and the ex bf kept going nothing I could do to stop it cause he had me pinned.... Roommate left and didn't come back for 4 hours.... Ugh!!!

So funny story. Cum makes me vomit. Looks smells and tastes NASTY to me. Was giving ex a blow job and he came in my mouth. (Tmi) I swallowed and about 3 seconds later puked all over his crotch and he had to walk to the bathroom like that to clean it up. He then told every one about it and we got made fun of for months..

Was having with an ex by the pool and got caught by the cops who drove by twice stopped the second time and yelled out to keep it down and leave the pool area clean when we left. !!

 DH and I just finished an amazing quickie! lol and you guessed it I farted! Fell off the bed laughing, and then almost died when DH turned around and farted too! I laughed 15 times harder and farted again! OMG can't stop laughing! just figured you all would enjoy that! lmao!

While having some particularly wild sex with my high school boyfriend he fell off my very high poster bed and fell ass first into the trash can where he was then wedged between the dresser and the bed.  I could not stop laughing to help the poor guy!!!

DH is feeling frisky, I was not, so he decided to go down on me. It was good, then I noticed a weird kind of tingling sensation. It was great until it started to burn like the fires of Hell! I started screaming OW OW IT BURNS! Stop it! No blow on it! OMG what did you do?! My husband says to me completely calm, Oh I forgot to spit out my cough drop. He likes those nasty ass Fisherman's Friend cough drops. I was seriously crying at this point, and Father-In law knocks on the door to ask what's wrong. DH starts laughing and I shout out, nothing serious, your son's a total idiot though.

One of the first times DH and I were doing the deed we were just dating at the time, I started my period. While I hopped in the shower he cleaned up the mess and went and got me pads and tampons. I cried when I saw and I knew he was a keeper. He even paid enough attention that he got the right brand. He got blow jobs the rest of the weekend.

The last time me and DH had sex. I had to get up and pee, I couldn't breathe when he was on top. When we tried to switch positions it took me forever to move. I also think Dh had one eye on the game too because the tv was on.

Duh and I had just gotten engaged and were "celebrating" in the car on some mountain road. I see a car coming (I was on top) and freaked and tried to roll onto the floor. Duh held me there, my ass was facing the window, who knows how much he saw. And by he, I mean the FWP ranger who stopped and looked in.

When we were still just dating, Duh and I were having sex in a canoe in the middle of a lake. Suddenly, it starts hailing! So we make a break for shore, luckily we had a trolley motor to help. DH had me man the motor while he paddled to help. So what happens? The motor falls off and feels like it about yanked my arm off. I started screaming (huge storm at this point) and DH yelled at me to hold onto the motor. We finally made it with everything, eventually...

DH and I hadn't been dating to long and wanted to do the deed, but we were still living with room mates or
family at the time, so he git a hotel room. I was stupid and was not expecting it at all....I thought we were just going to an after hrs bar. Anyways I finally realized where we were and jumped on him, and started making out like crazy. The lights in the room wouldn't stay on for some reason, so we just kept going with them off...it was great....really great. So he jumped up to get another condom and the lights just turned in themselves....to my horror, the walls and bed and him, were painted with blood!!! Ahhhh I was so embarrassed I had gotten my period n didn't realize it. It freaked him out. As this was the first time we ever done the deed....he was trying to be nice but I could tell he just wanted to head butt me. I apologized, we had sex again...but I was to embarrassed the whole time and it wasn't good. When we left I was sure I was never going to see him again......but here were are now! Twins on the way! We get a good laugh out of it now!!

The last time we had sex, I was about there and all of a sudden he just said "I have to pee" and stopped and went to the bathroom. It was first thing in the morning, but really? Just 10 more seconds, you know?

 I think the most embarrassing thing happened to me and my husband at my best friends BBQ. We had been drinking and went swimming so I went to the bathroom to change. DH decided to just change with me in the bathroom. Everyone was outside so it wasn't like anyone saw us go in there together. Well... Of course things get a little heated and little did we know, there was a door to the patio on the other side. But her little cousin (teenage boy) let us know, everyone at the party got a little show. :( whoops! Sorry BFFs family!

 My mom and dad was pregnant with me. My mom was instructed to go to l&d if she thought labor started including water breaking. My parents were doing the deed and all the sudden my dad felt a gush. All in a hurry and getting my grandma too they rushed to l&d. Nurses checked for contractions and so on... Come to find out I kicked my moms bladder and she peed on my dad. Yup mood killer!

 This really isn't embarrassing as much as it is funny...When DH and I were first married, I bought a green iguana and took it back to our apartment. He lived in the living room in a big glass tank and was MY pet (he preferred me). Well I guess DH and I never did the deed in the living room because, we moved and had the iguana in our room and the first time we did the deed and the iguana saw us doing it jumped from his branch in the tank and landed on the glass wall and all I could see was his tiny little face slid down the wall. I busted out laughing so bad. I guess he thought DH was killing me or something.

An ex and I were doing the deed in my bedroom. I was in college and still lived with my mom and sister who was still in HS. Anyway, I'm on top having a good ole time when my sister walks in. But she doesn't leave all awkwardly like a normal person. No. She points and laughs. Then I grab a blanket to cover us and she comes in and rips the blanket off of us. Then laughs some more. I had to throw shit at her to make leave. 

 
I was doing it with my ex and he got stuck on my nuvaring. That was painful in more ways than one.

Sadly I was a skank in my teen years, so when I met DH I was much MUCH more experienced. One night we were doing it doggy style and I told him to slap my ass. He hesitated, popped me the lamest, lightest little spank on my hip and then just hung his head in shame. I tried not to but my body was shaking so I let out my laughter full force, complete with snorting and he started cracking up too. We giggled through the rest of doing the deed and to this day we still talk about it.

Once my boyfriend and I stopped in an area they were building new houses, it was already dark maybe like 10pm ish . We had sex in the car. He was in the driver seat and I was on top . When I got off for him to cum, I grabbed his penis for him to cum on my leg cause it was that or my car . Lol anyhow I grabbed it but his cum popped him right in his mouth . He was freaking out and I was just laughing my ass off . He laughs about it now but that's probably our most embarrassing story.

I dated this guy and we finally decided to have sex for the first time. He was my second ever and the guy I lost my virginity to was huge, like painfully huge. Any who I was on top and I see his package and think god it's small. He enters but I feel nothing and I ask "is it in yet?" he says "yeah don't you feel it?" I was so embarrassed for him! I kind of wiggled for a second then said oh yeah...I still felt nothing. He came super fast and later we decided to just be friends.

I met a guy while on vacation when I was in college , we took the boat to the middle of the lake and started getting caught up. I stopped him to make sure he had something. His response: "no, don't worry, it'll be fine. I'd be there for you." Guess who rowed his ass back to shore to get a condom. I was all for a little fun vacation romance but not at the expense of my health or an unplanned pregnancy.

 I have one from my dating days. I was still fairly inexperienced so I decided to hook up with his older guy who had quite the reputation. So after many rounds over many hours, he decides he wants me to sit on his face. Bear in mind that I had been lubed multiple times at this point. So, I do it and he's doing his thing down there, and I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Of course, being all worn out, I queefed right in his face. And sprayed him down with lube. So we went for ice cream instead.

 Boyfriend and I were fooling around while on a cookout (just us at an upstate camp/picnic ground.  See how fast he could get his hand out of my pants when we heard the ranger's car pulling up.

An ex and I were living together in a nice trailer down in H&H.  His brother's infantry buddy waltzed through the front door.  Cue EX, who was not expecting company stalking out of the bedroom with a pillow covering his bits and a battle axe in his free hand.  Five minutes later, having hear no sounds of mayhem, I came out in panties and a button down shirt.  All buddy had to see was me in the shirt, he turned six shades of red and spent the next six weeks apologizing every time he saw me.
 A couple of months ago DH and I doing the deed. After I left the room to find my 4yo DD standing just outside the door. She looked up at me and said 'why were you jumping on the bed?' Lol

 The summer after we married DH and I went camping with a group of friends. We were the only married ones without kids with us, so we took advantage and snuck off to do the deed every chance we could. One of the evenings we went to the showers to 'freshen up'. He checked out the men's shower, and it was empty, and he gave me the all clear. So afterwards we were making a break for the door, and right as we got to it some older guy came strolling in. As soon as he saw me ducking behind DH he started chuckling. As he stepped aside to let us leave he clapped DH on the back and said 'Gotta get it in when you can fit it in, eh?' I was mortified, but DH laughed the whole way back to our campsite. The phrase has become our motto. Lol

 We were getting ready to doing the deed and having a great time of it too.  Unfortunately his bedroom door opened out onto the building's common hallway and all his friends used it to just come in.  No big deal we just turned the lock.  Well, we learned the lock was broken when his best friend pushed in the door just as BF unhooked my bra.  I turned about ten shades of red and got my top back on in record time.
 
I'm an avid reader (or I used to be, when I had more than 2 minutes of spare time a day), and I had a bookcase headboard. I was re-reading Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" - 845 pages, hardcover, door-stopper type book. Back when we were kinda-sorta dating, DH and I were doing the deed and things got a bit, um, vigorous. "The Dark Tower" crashed down on my face. I got hit full-on across my right eye and nose. then when I jerked my head to the side I turned right into the corner of the book. Half my face was black and blue, my eye was swollen shut, and I had a 2" cut through my eyebrow.

 I had to have an argument with my HS BF about where a woman's clitoris is. He seriously had no clue why I kept trying to get him to touch it during sex or oral. I seriously finally just told him "Look! I HAVE one! I think I would know better than you where it is!" he still tried telling me I was wrong or, later, that I was deformed. Yeah, that didn't last long. Lol I feel for the woman he married if he didn't figure that one out by then! Lol

 Two weeks ago we were doing the deed doggy style. I like it rough ;). So anyway, we are going at it, and we all know when you're super wet and go from that angle it's like a suction cup... So after I turned around and opened my legs for him to go down.. And I let out three long loud queefs.. Yes, that loud. In my husbands face.. it doesn't end there though.... My dad lives with us. His room is on the same
floor, and he picked that time to be coming back up the stairs. He told my husband he was going to buy him some gas-x and told me he feels sorry for me having to sleep next to a guy farting like that.. Awkward..

The other day my SO and I were doing the deed he was on top and I farted so loud. I was really embarrassed and he was just laughing. I blamed it on pregnancy lol. I apologized for ruining the mood and he was like do you wanna continue and I was like sure why not! Lol.

Another time I was giving a guy a blow job and he was rather large and I would deep throat him as long as I didn't do it for a long time my gag reflex was good. Well he was holding onto my head and I couldn't stop before I threw up a little on him. I was mortified but he was totally cool with it and apologized to me for not letting my head up. 

One time, we were up at my brother-in-laws house, house sitting.  We decided to defile all the rooms in the house.  We start in the living room.  DH is giving me oral, I'm sitting on the couch, my feet are in the air, and I let out a HUGE fart, right in his face.  I said sorry, he looks up, says no prob and keeps on going.  We enjoyed defiling the rest of the house.

We were living in an apartment with a roommate (still dating at the time).  We had been informed that we were being too loud and that our roommate had purchased ear plugs to drown out the sound.  Hahaha.  We were doing the deed and all of a sudden, the bed collapses below us.  WE BROKE THE BED FRAME!  We were laughing so hard.  The next morning, our roommate said he heard a loud thud and was wondering what happened.  My DH was so proud that we broke the bed he told him exactly what happened.  He moved out the next month :-)

 We had lunch and then we doing the deed. I sat up afterwards and started to cough and well I ended up puking right there in the bed. Luckily I had a towel near by and helped clean up some. It was so gross and embarrassing. Now I have more laundry to do. That has never happened to me before. I'm thinking it was just to much movement after lunch lol.

 DH and I were newly weds getting a little over excited and experimenting a little. He bit my inner arm and left bruises, but I didn't know this until we were visiting friends and the guy asked about my bruises! Luckily they are good friends and not easily embarrassed. But I certainly was, I wore long sleeves til the bruises disappeared.

 When my DH and I were still dating, I thought I would surprise him for his birthday. I lit candles and bought some handcuffs. I handcuffed him to the bed and we were getting busy. then I knocked a candle over and lit part of the carpet on fire! All he could do was just lay there while I put the fire out. lol

 When DF & I first started dating we were laying on my moms couch watching a movie & got bored so we decided to do the deed because my mom wasn't supposed to be home for another 2 hours. Well, we started getting into it & I was on top & my mother comes storming through the door. I literally flew off of DF, slid over the coffee table & ended up landing on my ass on the other side of the room. My mom immediately turned around & waited outside for us to put our clothes on & a couple minutes later she knocks on the door & asks if it's safe to enter. I was so mortified!

I have a story that takes the cake. There's this running joke with my best friend, her DH, my DH, and me.
My bff and her DH were doing the deed and apparently she was on top. He hit a spot and she pooped on him. They were so worried that something was wrong with her they called DH and I to ask. We laughed so hard and now when someone does something funny we say u pooped on me.

OK my husband would kill me if he knew i was posting this, this has been a sensitive subject for him....we got our now cat about 6 years ago, as a kitty she loved to play and attack everything that moved,,,, one night we were doing the deed my husband was on top.. all of a sudden he flies off of me screaming, now my husband isn't small, he is 6foot 6inches and built like a line backer and he let out the most awkward squeal.. turns out our kitty must have like seeing his balls swinging back in forth and decided to attack them!! clawed him right in the nuts! the cat has been on his shit list ever since, he wont even make eye contact with her lol...

Well this is a funny little story about mine and DH's old roommates. We used to live in a 2 bedroom apartment with this guy we went to high school with. At one point his girlfriend moved in and they were always having sex. Their room was right next to ours and we could always hear our roommates girlfriend saying, "Matt!!! That was one minute!!" Lol. Every time. And then her nick name for him was " one minute Matt." She even called him that in front of all his friends. She was a bitch but it was still funny. Lol

When DF & I first started dating, we were at my cousins house drinking with my cousin & her BF (Who was very close with my DF, they call each other 'brother'). Well, my younger cousin was gone at a party & wasn't coming home, so she said we could sleep in her room as long as we didn't have sex. So, my cousin, her BF, DF & I were all in my younger cousins room drunk playing her ps2 & sucking horribly - so my cousin & her BF go out to get something, & DF & I get bored so we start making out. We're really drunk, so we have that 'fuck it' thought process - so we decide to do the deed on my cousins bed. Well - a little after we're done, my cousin comes in with a big old smile on her face & says "you're lucky mom (my aunt) hasn't come home yet, because y'all were loud as hell!". I was so embarrassed that they had heard, but that didn't stop us from doing it 2 more times that night.  Here's the good part, the next day I get a call from my younger cousin saying she found my shirt in her room, but she's gonna wash it for me before she gives it back because she thinks she spilled something on it because it was sticky...we had used it as a rag. Once I got off the phone I told DF & we were both rolling laughing. Even better...a couple weeks after that my cousin told her we did the deed in her bed, & she calls me freaking out because she realized she'd touched our sex rag & DF's juices!

 DH and I broke our bed. We have a king sized bed. One night we were being really active when we heard a loud crack and the center of our bed dropped, with us on it. We were so into DTD that we finished before we checked to see what the damage was. We managed to break all five of the bed slats and had to sleep on the bed with the mattress sloping to a deep rut in the center for three weeks while waiting for a set of special order, stainless steel bed slats to come in. Five broken bed slats were on our curb for trash pick-up for all the neighbors to see.

The first time DH and I did the deed or at least tried he was so drunk that I was on top and enjoying the rubbing when he says honey it's not gonna get hard LOL 

After my youngest was born I was cursed with horrible horrible gas. While doing the deed I tried so hard not to fart but I couldn't hold it and I swear it sounded so loud and lasted forever LOL all I could do was laugh!

When I was pregnant with my last child I was giving DH a blow job in the shower and totally threw up all over his penis! I said oops and we went in the bedroom and finished!

Once my now 8 year old walked in on us luckily DH was fully covered!! She was about 6 when that happened. All I could do was laugh! 

Last weekend we were moving rooms and my husband our good friend and neighbor were taking our bed apart, well when they were taking it downstairs he passes me and my mom and says "damn woman (term of endearment for me) you gotta stop banging so hard you're a wild animal and are breaking out bed...I shouted back he's always on top had to be him. I was still embarrassed. Right before that my mom found my bob aka dildo. :/ double embarrassment!!
 I have a pretty twisted sense of humor sometimes and so did my ex bf. We often made jokes about different strange sexual acts and threaten to do then unannounced to each other. One of these was called "the angry pirate".  The angry pirate is when the man purposely cums in your eye then quickly kicks you in the shin. Thus, leaving you hopping around on one leg covering one eye and obviously angry.  So one night we were having sex. He was on top and it was pitch dark in the room. He pulled out and since he couldn't see, ended up getting it straight in my eye. All I could do is hold my eye, curl into a ball and scream "please don't kick me in the shin!" -- I don't think either of us stopped laughing for a long long time. He just didn't see where he was aiming and had no intention of actually pulling an angry pirate on me.
We went on vacation last summer and stayed with my aunt and uncle...we were going crazy not being able to have sex so we finally started to do it in the shower then went into the room and did everything as fast as possible. Then the next night after everyone was in bed and asleep I snuck down stairs to where he was sleeping (it was to hot to sleep up stairs w us) and he had amazing sex!! I don't think anyone ever knew lol.

This pregnancy since entering my second trimester I've had a huge increase in sex drive!!!! All I want is to is jump my husbands boner! LOL yesterday I was so looking forward to having hot sex...I had heart burn from hell followed with some serious amount of nausea! Here's hoping I do better today :-)
 my mom was staying a few days with us and one morning looks at me and ask what type of gun Justin has...I thought weird question out of blue mom..why??? She said well I see that bottle of "Gun oil" on his night stand I can barely control my laughter because that's one of the best sex lubes on the market and we my mom was now holding the bottle....eweeeeee as I lmao
 DH and I were having sex last week --- he was playing w my boobs and sucked on one and I leaked  - he stopped and said - what was that - then we both started cracking up - at least he said it did not taste that bad!

when me and SO lived in a small room of his mothers house, we did the deed and he used a shirt to wipe himself off since the bathroom was taken. so he throws the shirt in the closet ( also the washer was taken) and we would wash it later that night. well, we also were playing guitar hero a lot. we had two guitars. one in the closet, and one hooked up to the xbox. his brother walks in later to play with us. he grabs the other guitar out of the closet. he asks my SO why its sticky and wet in this one spot, and we couldn't tell him why (take a guess what landed on it). he still to this day doesn't know that he touched my so's jizz. now me and so have an inside joke about jizzing on the guitar.

Before DH and I got married, he invited me to go camping with him and his family. I, of course, was trying to be on my best behavior and he, of course, spent the whole time trying to get me to have sex. Well, I finally caved and we did the deed in a coed shower while everyone else went out to the nearest convenience store for some booze. It was amazing, raunchy, and loud, and I had no shame at all... Until we stepped out, and there was DHs mom and sister WAITING right outside for us to finish... Mortifying. Lol

There was also a time early in our relationship when I forgot to take out a tampon before shower sex and DH had to help me dig it out. :/ It was seriously flattened like a pancake lol

Shortly after Hubby and I started dating, we both got off work early and decided to go to my house for a little fun. He's behind me and I guess we were very into it, because he put my head through the wall about 2 inches from the window frame.The best part? He did it AGAIN a couple years later. I now can't have sex in that position without freaking out if I'm anywhere near a wall. That's not awkward at all.

 I was giving an ex a Blow Job. He came, I sneezed. Shat his load out my nose. Hurt so bad I thought I was going blind! Asshole was flapping around on the floor Laughing, and a week later I got a sinus infection, where I had to admit to the doc what had happened because I thought I got an STD up my nose and was gonna die a horrible brain eating amoeba style death.


Frustrated. Fired.


 Frustrated at Work.
I  work with a woman that most people call cruela devil. This woman frustrates me to the point of wanting to smoke (which I hate and have never done) and wanting to do unethical violent things to her personal property. It has finally gotten to the point I have looked in to getting a transfer to another city and store... (I work for Walmart) I have never in my 25 years of living (besides my parents) have anyone hassle me like this woman does. Nit picking over every thing I do. I have gone to management twice now and tomorrow will be 3 times. I can't handle it any more who who'd want to work in such an environment as to where they cry because they are so frustrated and stressed. UGH!!! I will miss my great hours and friends but screw that old hag I'm done!!!
Bleh I know not what else to say or do.

 Fired from Work.
I really want to cuss and scream!
I was fired today...7/30/13 Want to know why because I asked my aunt to go get something for me from HELL MART and she used MY discount card on MY Items and paid with MY money... so they fired me..

Yes it legal. yes it sucks...
Keep me in your prayers as I am the "bread winner" in my home and am in dire need of a JOB!!!
Since I was fired (at 3:30) 2 hours ago I have already put in 3 applications...

I worked there for 15 months... and this is the second time working for them and the second time being fired over something so stupid... 

  let me start out by saying I am still highly upset.. so if I come across as being a Bitch I am sorry. also I apologize for typos and other crap.

Its stupid because; the first time was because of an off the clock on my day off comment about a friends ass... (not even a friend that was working at the store)...

This time its stupid because of the 3 coaching s rule or some shit I don't/didn't understand.. AND when they asked me about the items my aunt bought for me I told them they were my items showed them my bank card WHICH had the last 4 digits of the debit card used on the transaction... (can we say looking for a reason)...

Why risk my job... I did not in the slightest way know I was risking my job by having my aunt do this for me... since I was feeling sick and couldn't walk with out being in pain...

My DH knows better than to say anything to me about my job at this point... (why?) because I have been telling him for months now to get a second or better job...
 

 idk why it mattered so freaking much to them but they can suck it... LMAO!

 when I worked for them the first time... I never got my 1st 15 minute break. My register had to LOCK ME OUT of the system (means I am useless to the store) Until I took at least a 30 minute lunch.

This time around I had a friend who was hurt (his back) and they fired him too. (again looking for a reason) he had his face piercings in while on his lunch...


 it is still 10% coaching is more like being written up. The other two were for 1. Missing days/ being late (car broke down and child decided it would be funny to swallow marbles)

2. an issue I had with another associate... (this one I don't want to explain any further)

DH works 3 days a week for M company making about 10$ and hour for about 8-12 hours.

M company cut his hours down and I was trying to get him to understand that come November comes and I have DS I'll (would have been) taking 6 weeks off for bonding/feeding what ever else needed to be done... there fore loosing at least 2 pay checks...


 Ugh I feel like a zombie! I just slept for 13 hours... Who does that? Me apparently. Well I've read the Fart stories for my morning laugh in between more applications! Yay me!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

My *TMI* Freak Out

This is TMI but I don't know how else to explain what recently happened.

I got home after not seeing my DF for 4 days :( No hug not glad to see you no touching kissing. NOTHING. I attempted to get intimate and he shut it down. (ie too tired just don't wanna) My heart broke some. a few days later I came home from work and we were talking and he went to look something up on the Ipad and I noticed porn was the last thing he watched... I asked him if he had handled his business... He said yes.

It was my breaking point. I went and took a shower I just felt so Dirty. I also sat down and decided to write in my journal exactly how I was feeling.


Journal ~
I feel so hurt, lost. I am sure he finds me unattractive now. I hate myself! I hate being FAT. I bet it wont be long before he leaves because I am so fat and ugly. I hate who I am. I  am worthless and UGLY.

It is hard to believe he finds me attractive at all. He NEVER tells me I am any sort of attractive. It really hurts my feelings that he would rather jerk it than to have sex with me. I just want to DIE! I want to be alone I am done trying to look and or smell pretty any more. I just want it to be me an DD again.

My heart hurts so much right now I feel like I am splitting in two.I don't want to be touched ever again. I am done! DS is my last child. I am just so fed up I can't handle it any more.

DF has stopped touching me, holding my hand and randomly kissing me. I just can't do it any more. I hate myself I should let him find a skinny girl he can love. I don't want to keep him away from what can make him happy any more. Maybe one day I will not be such a failure.

My heart is killing me. Its come to make me physically ill. I hate this why wont the feeling of being a failure go away? What am I going to do now? I am too emotional to sleep. I am so tired of being and feeling REJECTED! I feel like I don't matter. I miss not hurting. ~End Journal~

Well I wrote all this down and eventually he read it all and Apologized over and over again. Sometime after he read this journal I wrote in he pulled me close to him and told me over and over again I was his world and I was the only woman he saw as beautiful any more. AND once I had calmed down enough to be able to breath again... we eventually made umm Noises! lol I know nothing gets fixed over night but I still feel it has helped our relationship.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Hot Rooms and Totaled Car.

 Hot rooms! The trailer park I live in provides each tenant 1 AC for their home. I am OK with this but my AC died! and my bedroom is sooo hot I feel like I could DIE in it.

 I love my DF he is so sweet I came home to a Freezing COLD bedroom last night! He surprised me with a new to us Air conditioner for our bedroom. So I wouldn't be uncomfortable any more.! It was so cold in the room it only took me 10 minutes to fall asleep rather than the 2 hours.!!!

Totaled car! My Aunt was at her place of business and her ONLY car for 2 working people was totaled! So I loaned them my Van and have been staying the weekends with my aunt since our places of work are close together. **HER HOUSE IS ALWAYS HOT**

 I got a call from my aunt! I wont have to be staying at my Aunts any more unless I want to! She is hopefully getting a check soon for the totaled car! Its enough for them/her to buy a car outright!!!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My New HOME

I woke up today and decided to take a little advice from the FlyLady I picked an eye sore and picked it till its almost healed.

I now have a kitchen table/ computer desk in my living room and a food storage place in my kitchen. I am loving the new look in my home!

My wonderful DF and our Room mate went and bought me two shelves I am so excited to finally be getting my house in order!!! 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Red Flags! SHUT IT DOWN!

All of these Red Flags are compliments of wonderful women who have helped me see threw the BS of those I blindly followed. 

Ever hear the term RED FLAG and wonder to your self are there any red flags in my life with my family or with my children?  WELL HERE IS THE LIST!!

 (LO) Little one (PIL) Parent In Law (MIL) Mother In Law (TO) Time Out

ANYONE saying they need LO's attention to be happy, complete, get through their day etc.

ANYONE calling LO 'my baby' that didn't partake in conceiving said child (Repeated several times for reinforcement)

When your mom or MIL "accidentally" refer to themselves as Mama or Mommy. My mother has done this on more than one occasion. 

Anyone needing alone time with baby to "bond"

Anybody inviting themselves over to the ultrasound, other than husband or boyfriend.

Anybody who had no interest in you at all as a person...and then you conceived and now they're being sugary sweet.

Anybody who uses guilt, crying, etc to get access to your baby.
 



ANYONE who took no interest in you before getting pregnant.  AKA all of a sudden your MIL(Mother In Law) starts inviting you out to lunch, and then only wants to talk about baby stuff.  Never mind the other things you try to bring up in conversation, those are blown off.

ANYONE calling your baby "our baby" or "my baby."  This should be stopped immediately. I usually turn to my Hubby when PIL ask how "their babies" are doing and ask him to tell them how he is.  After repeated conversations about the topic between PIL and Hubby, FIL continues to do it and so he is TO.

PIL (parent In Laws) asking about parenting classes for grandparents to attend.  MIL asked if there were any that I knew about, so she would know what to do in case both babies were crying.  PIL don't need to know about those things, they just need to know about short visits with babies. BABIES NEED THEIR PARENTS NOT THEIR GRANDPARENTS.

PIL who tell you to "get used" to making more for dinner, because they will just be "showing up."  Immediately shut this down.  Reestablish boundaries.  Ugh.

PIL who take it upon themselves to share personal information, US photos, etc...without permission.  Stop the info train and TO (Time Out) from any pregnancy information.

PIL who tell you point blank about how they boundary stomped with their other grandchildren.  Hubby and I were just staring at them...it's like, OK thank you for reinforcing our feelings toward you.  And just for that, you will not be left alone with my children.


When ANYONE wants to take the LO for a "sleep over" if they're 12months and under.

When ANYONE says they're going to give LO sugar or foods that cause allergic reaction and justify that because they're THE grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc.

 When they start looking at houses in your town or in your neighbor hood.

When you hear a lot of "my friends get to do such & such with their grand kids".


Anyone who calls your child 'our baby' or 'my baby'

Inviting themselves into the delivery room.

Asking for an extra key to your house 'just in case' you might need them to stop by for anything.

Furnishing a nursery for their own house with the expectation baby will be there that often

 "I bought a used crib for my house!" 

"Thank you for my baby." - upon announcing pregnancy


"I'm your other Mommy." - to child

anyone who takes it upon themselves to buy their own car seat for THEIR vehicle, assuming they will be going wherever they please with you newborn. Yeah right!!

 Threatening CPS calling if you "keep the baby" from them......


 "You're breast feeding?! Why?! How long?! Aren't you going to use formula so LO and I can bond?!"

  anyone who tries to tell you that Anything is more important than your baby's schedule.


When people start telling you *their* expectations for your unborn child or infant (or telling and not asking about anything, really)...

"I can't wait to (do random thing) with them!" as if it's a given and their "right".

Wanting alone time is a big one.

Complaining about the lack of said alone time interfering with "their bond" with your baby is more so.

Trying to do all care-taking duties when visiting, as if you're not "supposed to" touch your own child if they are around.
 
When the baby's needs "can wait" because the person "needs" their fix.  IE... "he can sleep in the car, it's our time now!"  Um, no.
 
asking for lo's ssn for any reason!
Trying to insert themselves into baby's personal care, i.e. baths, diaper changes.

Complaints about baby being "attached" to mom (of course baby wants mom, you dick knuckle. That's how it SHOULD be).

 When they ask "why didn't you pump so we can feed the baby?"

When they change their work schedule and assume that you'll use them as daycare when you return to work. Ummm No.

When they talk to the baby as if you're not there.

Anytime they say "we won't tell Mommy about that. It'll be our secret." HUGE red flag! 


Walking off with LO into another room during visits. Drives me nuts. "I just wanted quiet time together."

Trying to take any "firsts," ie I was nice enough to invite you to the pool, don't assume you are the one going in with LO.


Bonding that people wanted to do with MY baby. 

When LO'd cry, trying to keep LO from me because LO was "too attached," and I was "spoiling LO," and LO had to get used to other people.

GOING OFF ALONE WITH MY LO IS UNACCEPTABLE !! You can bond with your grandchildren without being alone with them.

"I have rights you know."

"My friend gets to blah blah blah with their grand kids."


"You're so overprotective."


 BUYING a larger vehicle "so 3 car-seats could fit across" and an RV with bunk beds "for the grandchildren" without discussing it with us. Hell no!

 Buying firsts is a huge I-want-this-to-be-my-do-over-baby red flag, imo. (In My Opinion)

When MIL cries to Hubby that you are trying to keep her out of the baby's life... While you're still pregnant. 

 When you are called selfish for wanting a birthing experience that is not in alignment with your MIL wants. 

On top of which you have to listen to a rant that all of her friends got to do A. B and C and she just wants to part of the experience that her friends/other family members got to do.

Entitled Grandparents and or In Laws

I feel this is kind of like a wake up call for some and Certainly  for myself... Especially since I wrote out a few things that had happened to me and my DD. (Dear Daughter)

I love how every time I turn around; I am hearing about how so and so and so's Mother In Law has taken it upon them selves to create a Nursery, Yes A NURSERY at their own home for the use by new born or not even here yet grandchildren..(THESE ARE A BOUNDARY STOMP IN DISGUISE.)

How about when a Grandparent thinks its unfair that one family member (not mom dad brother or sister) sees a child all the time and again that child really doesn't. Or how about the family members who claim your child is somehow their child also? Like in some sick way just because you are having a child it is automatically their child also... I mean come on did they somehow help out in the making of the baby??? I THINK NOT!!

Or how about those female family members who pseudo breast feed your children or want you to pump when you are EBF (exclusively breast feeding).. a great example...

Mother: I've already told you no.Breastfeeding is not open for discussion. If you keep bringing it up, we will leave (we were out at lunch).
Que CatButtFace.
Grandmother: But, your bayyyyyybeeeeee looks so hungry. Is he gaining enough weight?"
Mother: He's almost doubled his birth weight. He's not hungry. He has to fart. That's his fart face."
grandmother: Noooooo. He's hungry. Look at him.
(Leans in over his car seat. She starts asking my 4mo old if he's hungry.) He then proceeds to rip a nasty,smelly man sized fart, settles in, and dozes off.
Mother: almost hysterical laughter.
Grandmother: EPIC CatButtFace. 





Seriously what is wrong with these women? Did you not get enough mommy time when you had your own kids? Hello! If you feel the need to mother someones children who are not your own THEN go adopt one of your own…

I just find it UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Felt Like stealing to me.


I also had an older church lady friend who would ask to take my DD for the day, I told her SEVERAL times no. She finally got the hint and left it alone. For a little while... I should have listened to my gut and left it alone...

After my DD was about 16 months I agreed to let my DD go spend the night. I was having a hard time adjusting to my new way of life.(not my DD other things)
FF a few months of this happening. I was somewhat comfortable with this lady and her family and my DD loved them. I allowed her to go and spend a few days there like 3-4 nothing too long and I would see her through out her stay...Well church friend offered for us to move in to help me get on my feet and away from my at the time bad situation...

I very stupidly Moved in almost right away... AND THAT is when the crazy started. As to not make a novel out of this post I'll kinda short hand it.

This lady and her Husband basically took over my child and my life. I couldn't go any where except to church and work. I wanted to spend time with my aunt and this lady pulled the quiet cold shoulder thing for the next 2 weeks. Over the next few months she repeatedly did things with my DD I had not had a chance to do. On top of sabotaging my potty training! They sabotaged my DD sleeping in her own bed and drinking from a big girl cup. I could go on and on but on to the stolen firsts and ruined firsts for DD and Me. 

She stole me seeing DD and her first fire works. She stole her first pony ride. She ruined my DD FIRST real Halloween…Pretty much ruined my Thanksgiving and She Tried to STEAL DD First Christmas!

After the Halloween thing I packed up as much of my stuff as possible and moved TFO! She took it upon her self to pack the rest of my things... When she did this she kept ALL of the clothes they had bought my DD and ALL of the TOYS including a few I had bought my DD. I was upset. YET STILL STUPID!!!

After a few weeks I let them take my DD for a few days. I sent them clothes and toys.. and a bracelet I had bought my DD for her birthday. WHEN my DD came home she had 1/2 of the stuff I had sent over. and NONE of the Christmas gifts they had bought my DD.( small toys and clothes that she will never wear because she out grew them before they will see her again.) DD was also missing the birthday bracelet. :-(

ONLY AFTER ALL OF THIS DID...

I finally realized she was trying to STEAL MY DD… and have CO this crazy lady who named her self MIMI and her hubby Poppie >:-{ (angry face)

Yes you will probably piss people off but that is OK because she is YOUR DD and what you say goes.. If people don’t like it they can go HOME.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

5/16/2012 - 5/28/12

5/16/12
Invisible Girl Hidden in a corner, Everything is dark. I see the world around me, But never taking part. My friends just overlook it, I don’t think they can see, The thing inside, That is killing me. It tears at my heart and soul, Eating me alive. Sometimes I’m just wishing, That I could just die. I want someone to notice, See that I am there. To hold me close and tell me, That they really care. Everyone’s so wrapped up in their life, That all they see is their own. I want them to see that I am sitting here, Confused and so alone. I want someone to help me, But no one seems to care. I’m wasting my life on wishing, That I was never here.
The pain inside is cutting me, Like a thousand pieces of glass. Driving deeper into my heart, When I think about the past. I’m tired of looking in the past, But the future doesn’t seem to real So I will sit here, Slowly trying to heal. For I will always be, An Invisible Girl.
5/28/12
I’m really stressing out. I’m only part time and it seems as tho I am not meant to succeed. I barely have enough money to do any thing I’ve paid rent and bought food and now I don’t have enough to get gas to make sure I can get to work. its like Every thing I want is working against me. What do you do when all you want is to be held close and told that you matter. ? I just want to work and save get my car and move far away from every thing. I’m tired of being hurt and lonely.

My life Aug 3 to the 13, 2013


7/3/13  -  7/13/13
I've lost 6 lbs and I've realized that I don't eat as much as I need to :( I have also realized that it mostly because of stress over a dirty house,bills, and work. 

Since this post is mainly just for me so I can rant and no one has commented that's exactly what I am going to use it for. My Rantings...

My house is a disaster zone and I don't want to clean up after the 2 grown men in my house after working all weekend... but it seems to me the only way my house is going to get clean is if on my only 2 days off I bust my ass to clean the damn house.
a little BG. I work for a Walmart part time about 30-38 hours every week on top of the Walmart being 36 miles from home one way which adds at least (round up) and say 2 hours to every day I work.  My DF works 2-3 12 hour days on the weekend. so he is off during the week Mon-Thur.
we are already living on the barest of the minimum. So its not like we could cut any thing out. UGH I am sure this now sounds like a mad woman's ramblings but again IDC I needed to vent it somewhere where not every person in the world I know is connected to me.
**Edit to add I have gained 7lbs back and our baby BOY is doing wonderful**
My LO possibly has switched organs... Im kinda upset and not really sure what to do say or ask...
I am confused and feeling a bit alone in the matter because my DF rarely wants to talk. In fact he really does nothing but play video games unless I get upset about an issue...Not 100% but His stomach could be on the opposite side of his lil body...  US tec told us about it Monday... and said not to worry but when I googled it, Its actually a little scary to think about...This is the first link I clicked on... UGH I know that its mostly my prego  hormones in over drive but I can't help but be a little worried... our next appt can not come fast enough... (with another US because LO decided the US Tech. did not need to see his heart but his little back) lol
According to the tiny bit of research I have done in the past 15 minutes it is irreversible  BUT It doesn't seem to have any horrible side effects... 
I loved my US Tech. this go round she was very considerate and asked me if I needed to go pee and If I wanted to know the sex... kinda hard not to know since my little porn star was wide open and I saw his Penis before the tech had even started. lol
**OB did not say any thing because I forgot to ask** **I had gotten distracted by the rest of the US** **I am planning on calling my Pied tomorrow and asking his opinion...
I miss being confident. Ever since getting pregnant with lo#2 I feel ugly fat and worthless:-( I am a larger girl by nature. But I just want to lay in bed and wait for time to pass. I'm 15 weeks and feeling unimportant in every thing I do.

Self motivation maybe.

I'm not really sure what is goin on with me, I just want to cry. I feel hopless and lost. I am binge watching T.V. and neglecting my hom...