The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964)
will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you
really want to stand up from the couch and have your father's parents
see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now
running down your leg. Do you really want to say, "honey, can you come
with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge
blood clot coming out"... in front of them? Contrast that to "mom, I need
your help please, now, I'm bleeding all over!" Does your husband really
understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the
possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional
lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?
bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make
it "guest-level clean" every time you leave it? Do you really want this
gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads,
and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you
have two bathrooms, that means you can't use the main bathroom, because
you still have to leave it "guest-level clean" every time you use it.
they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the
baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they
going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and
baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE
your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your
space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be
done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back
in? Yeah, that's great for breastfeeding.
Or better yet, are they
going to blow you off, saying "it's no big deal", and expect you to
breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of
practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed
wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to
ogle and stare at you.
When your breasts are engorged and painful
and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your DH think it
will be okay for his dad to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk
What if your birth is smack in the middle of
their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before
baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big
moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room
every day, all day? Yeah, that's great for resting. What happens when
you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you
want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave
graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your
food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can't nap?
your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you
guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a
lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that
it is not a good time for you.
Does your DH understand ANY of
these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining
guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either
vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another
human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process
of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly
hormonal time. Does he not get that??
Who Can Even be on the List to be Considered to Stay at Your Home After Childbirth by Sharon1964
know, nobody gets to stay in your home after birth unless they are
helpful. So is his mother going to.... wash your bloody underwear in the
sink? Clean and disinfect your toilet and perhaps the bathroom floor
after you spend time in there? Clean up lemon size blood clots that come
out of your vagina if you need help? Get hot washcloths and lay them on
your naked engorged breasts? Hold a cold wet washcloth on the back of
your neck when you break out in a sweat all over?
Is she going
to cook for you and clean for you and do the laundry, and make sure you
are stocked with diapers and wipes and clean blankets? Is she going to
allow you to breastfeed in private in your own living room by either
going to her room or going outside? Is she going to allow you to pick up
your own crying baby? Is she going to ASK you if you would like her to
get the baby for you since you may be sore? Is she going to disappear
when you want alone time with your new baby and your husband? Is she
going to refrain from giving you advice but instead ask you what you
And what's his dad going to do? Is he going to cut the
grass and take out the garbage and make runs to the store for juice and
milk? Is he going to wash the car or walk the dog or change the cat
No? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
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