Friday, February 10, 2017

I am overwhelmed.

As a mother of three and a wife, I am over whelmed. I am exhausted. I am stressed out so much I just want to cry. I know I am a wife to my husband, I am a mother to my children.... Who or what am I to myself? 

Just the month of Feb. has all ready been hell. 

  • week 1 DD birthday  and a doc apt for Mom
  • week 2 court for animal control and a doc apt for Dad
  • week 3 court for codes
  • weeks 1-4 waiting on taxes so I can move.
I am the only one who plans how our family money is spent. I am the only one who makes sure the bills are handled. I am stressed that I wont be able to find a place for my family before march is over. 

I wish I had a friend to talk to... I miss having a best friend I can tell every thing to. I miss having someone to visit with and share my life with. 

Things I have had to say to my kids in the last month....

  • Don't touch your brother's penis
  • Don't put pop tart in your butt
  • Don't put your penis in that it might get stuck!
  • Stop pulling all the diapers out of the box
  • We are not having pop tarts for lunch

My house....

  • Has no hot water
  • need windows replaced
  • has structural rot so the windows cant be fixed
  • no heat
  • had to get rid of my dog

I miss having a job and the extra income to help my family with the bills and play money. I feel lost. Is there an elephant I can't see sitting on my chest? Is this why I can't breath? Can any one tell me why I have an anxiety attack every time my door bell rings or someone knocks?

I don't know what to do. God must know I am stronger than I feel because I am drowning... I haven't had a shower in over a week, my house is wrecked, we have JUST ENOUGH food to last us until the next pay day. 

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