Monday, May 15, 2017

Dealing with DCS

When I was younger around 9 I was placed in the FL DCS foster care system because my mother was lazy and didn't care enough to keep our house clean.
I am 28 years old now and it is not something you can easily forget. I have made it my life mission that my children never have to deal with that situation.
In the last 2 years DCS has been to my home 3 times. (Including this time).
The first time DCS came out to our house my MIL called them and told them I had a vicious animal loose in our home. DCS came out looked around asked us to De-clutter the area where the children are. Sure not a problem fixed the "issue" and they left and closed our case. The second time DCS came out to the house someone told them our children were left unattended. Which was a serious joke because DH and I were both SAHP. We explained the "situation" to the DCS worker, I welcomed her in to my home to look around and once she had a good look around she thanked us for our time and informed me the case would be closed. It was.
About one week before we moved into our new house a stray dog playfully attacked my foot. The poor animal looked hungry and I asked DH to place the dog in a cage and give it some food and water. Poor Pup ate it all up, while I was gone DH called animal control and they came out to the house to take the dog away. Shortly after AC left our local Police Department Codes Officer (PDCO) came out to the house and asked why it was a mess. I happily informed her we were moving to a new and bigger place and the mess was from us paring down on UN-needed and UN-used things. I apologized for the mess and PDCO informed me that she was still not pleased with my answer and would keep an eye out for our name and if it came up again she would be visiting.
It was less than a full 2 weeks in our new place and someone had called AC on us in rearguards to our dog being chained up and not having access to his water. AC came out and I explained he was chained because we were still moving things in to the house and did not want him to get loose or hurt. AC stated it was not a problem and moved on. No less than 2 days later someone else called AC because DOG was barking. Are you fucking kidding me? I was aggravated but thought nothing of it... Until...
PDCO lady came out to "check up" on us and the state of our home. I was not home when she came by ( I was at work) and my sweet DH let her in thinking that she would understand that we were still unpacking as I had just started a full time job and understandably the house was in disarray. BUT no she was highly upset the house was not in order and our floors were not swept up. She left and called DCS.
DH called me understandably upset that this lady made him out to be a shit father and unfit to attend our children. I left work early to come home and help him cope with the situation.
I guess I should inform you that DH is severely depressed and high stress situations aggravate his anxiety and can cause him to become suicidal. Thankfully he understands his triggers and knows how to handle them thanks to his wonderful therapist. He also knows if he feels he can't handle any situation to give me a call before he reaches his breaking point. DH is medicated and seeing a therapist well versed and trained in his needs.
Not thinking too much about the situation because like I said we were still getting things unpacked. I left for work. Some time between when I got to work and my lunch DCS came out and threatened to take my children because one of the windows in the kids room was busted. (by busted I mean it is a 6 pane window where 2 of the panes had fallen out) Possibly because my kids pushed them out. This sent DH's anxiety through the roof and he knew that he could not handle the situation. DH attempted to contact me but was unable to do so. So DH called his mom and she came over to help calm him down.
When I went to lunch I had messages from my mother, my aunt, and my DH saying that DCS had taken the children... I of course tried to contact my husband and could not reach him. In fact no one who had messaged me could reach my husband. Fearing the worst I rushed home to find my MIL chilling with the kids and hubs. The house phone and his cell phone had died.
We fixed the window and I called out of work for the next day to make sure I could be home with my husband when DCS came to do the second walk though. DCS showed up did their walk through, commented on my laundry room being cluttered and my kitchen being a bit of a mess from breakfast. I informed them that they would be washed up later after lunch. About the time they were getting ready to leave DD was slapping a window to get DOG's attention and I'll be damned if it didn't break. DCS laughed and called it a freak accident and to please send a pic when it was boarded up. It was assumed that the case would be closed...
I got a call from PDCO that she personally was speaking to the DCS case worker. She stated that she wanted to come by for another visit. I said sure not a problem but it will have to be after Tuesday because I have a doc. apt. I didn't think much of it and just figured they were coordinating a final visit.
Tuesday which was 10/11/16 for those not up with the time line. I get in the car and call DH prepared to tell him about the doc apt for YDS; when he informs me that DCS and PDCO are at my door. I informed DH that they could wait OUTSIDE until I got there.
I was pissed they they choose to show up unannounced on a day I already stated I would not be there. When I got home I invited them in for the walk through. It was at this point that they decided to comment on the following subjects.
Daycare/ Mother's day out programs that DH would have to walk our 3 small children to as our second car is loaned out. DH and I have talked extensively about these options but they just didn't work with our schedules. WE as a Married couple and a family team decided these things are not for us.
They wanted to go over our financials in detail. Which I refused to do as our financials have nothing to do with clean house and food in cabinets (which are full). I also clearly stated these facts in a calm and not bitch manner even thought I wanted nothing more than to throw them out of my home.
The final straw for me was when DCS proceeded to tell me she would be back next week to make sure that our laundry was put away for the kids. What the fuck the laundry got to do with supposedly "neglected" kids?
Oh and the greatest kicker of all I lost my job because of missing work to be home with my family in the emergency situation. Thanks DCS and thanks PDCO.

End of Feb. my DH and I ordered pizza and the delivery driver called the cops on us because my kids were naked. The cops showed up and I refused to allow them into the house because I know I did not have to let them in. The next afternoon DCS and police showed up. It is all sort of blurry what happened after. I barely remember lots of cops and DCS workers in my home; I remember my daughter showing them around. Me sitting on the couch with 2 female officers and 2 female DCS workers telling me I was a shit parent in front of my children while I sat there ashamed and crying. They took my children to my MIL's house where they were supposed to stay until we could get them back.
The next day my husband and I were arrested. We were charged with Felony Child Abuse /Neglect and a bond of 15,000 each. I spent over 15 hours in holding attempting to get out on bond before being put into general population. My DH and I spent six horrible days in jail waiting to make bond and get out so that we could start working on our defense and getting our children back. (quick note our bond was dropped to 5,000 each before we had the money to make bond).
My MIL lasted exactly two... TWO FUCKING days before calling DCS and having my children placed in Foster care because she could not handle my children. They were two rambunctious for her. My children are now in the care of a wonderful couple and I get to see them twice a month for 2 hour visits, and I get to have phone calls with them twice a week.
While in foster care the foster family celebrated my youngest child's birthday AFTER making plans with us to celebrate the next weekend. They took my kids to chucky cheese for the first time. I found out when the foster father sent me pictures of my children having cake without us.

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